We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
