wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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