Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
if only i could text you this smell
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
