he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Found your dick twin last night
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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