It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Randomize
