We named our party play list daddy issues
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
