ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
