why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
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