Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
