Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
