Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
