best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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