You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
