I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
And then he peed in my hair
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