I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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