we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
