thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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