i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
