The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
