his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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