I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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