Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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