dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
