Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
