I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
