We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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