I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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