So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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