the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Randomize
