Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
