god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
