He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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