man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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