First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
