Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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