I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
