Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
