You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
