youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
