I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
my poor anus
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
