you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
