I just saw a hot homeless man
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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