I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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