apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
