Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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