Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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