I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
