I just pynch a tree in the face
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
