I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I believe in your delicious
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
