No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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