I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
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